Broken
by EmilieDeVere
Summary: Bella is a broken girl with a dark past. She goes to NYU hoping to bury her past forever behind her. But will memories resurface? Will Bella find love, friendship and acceptance, three things she has long forgotten about? Can she find happiness again? E/B
1. Prologue

**Hello everyone! This is my second fanfiction about Twilight and I figured I needed a break from the other story. So here is something completely different than what I've ever written before. If you would like to check out my other story, it's called "My Happy Ending" and can be found on my profile.  
Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, though I wish i owned Edward**

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"_No! Grandma! Let me through! Let me through, let me through, it's my grandma!" two firefighters grabbed me from behind and pulled me away from the burning house. I tried to fight my way free, but they were too strong. Images formed in the fire. A tiny, forgotten grave in a faraway cemetery, a body hanging from a chandelier, a woman's empty eyes staring up at me with horror, my grandma's kind, wrinkled face…no, no I don't want to remember that, no please, stop, stop, STOP IT!_

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggg!

"NO!" I opened my eyes. I was lying in a heap on the floor with my alarm clock going crazy on the nightstand. _A dream. It was just a dream. Nothing more._ I repeated over and over to myself. But I knew it wasn't just a dream. It was also my worst nightmare I've been waking up to in the past six months.

I looked over to the calendar on my desk. Tomorrow was the beginning of my freshman year at NYU. I got a partial scholarship but I knew it wasn't enough to support me throughout college. I had to find a job, as soon as possible. My future didn't look so bright that morning, but that was usual. I didn't look forward to anything since the tragic death of my grandma who has been taking care of me.

I looked around my room. Pastel blue walls, a white bed, a battered bookshelf and a desk in the corner. All the pieces of furniture didn't match and the whole room felt impersonal. My things were strewn on the floor, my bags waiting for me at the door. I wouldn't regret leaving it all behind. This room brought up constant memories I wanted forgotten forever.

After a quick shower, I made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. I popped a pop tart in the toaster and went around the apartment, checking if I got everything I needed. Finally, about an hour later I was closing the trunk of my red, beat-up Chevy truck. Beside me I saw a family with two kids about twelve years old. The man was putting bags in the car while the woman was fussing about her children, straightening their clothes, hugging them and talking a mile a minute about how they should behave, what to do and what not to do. The children looked annoyed, but I would have given anything to have a mother who would care and worry about me. My eyes brimmed with tears. _Stupid_, I thought, slamming the door to my truck. Why would I want someone nagging at me all the time? This way I have freedom to do whatever I wished. I ran back towards my apartment building to grab something I hoped to leave behind. Impatiently I ran up the stairs since the elevator was broken _again_. I walked into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. Quickly I pulled out a razor blade out of my cabinet and sat down on the floor. For a few minutes I looked at the blade, battling with the angel and devil on my shoulders. Finally I sighed and slid the blade across my wrist. As I felt the familiar sting and watched the blood ooze out of my cut I felt relief. My eyes closed on its own accord, no matter how much I fought to keep them open. _Just a few minutes of sleep then_, I told myself, already drifting towards unconsciousness.

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	2. Unexpected Friends

**Hello! Yes, I realize this chapter was supposed to be up last Sunday but I honestly didn't have time to type it out. This week has also been hectic and I didn't have any time at all to write until today. Sorry about the delay, but you don't have to wait anymore, so go ahead!**

**Oh and a huge hug to ugabrat and Iheldyourhand for your wonderful reviews :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything, although I wish I owned Edward  
**

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I woke up on the bathroom floor with a pool of blood at my feet. You'd think that after four years of cutting, I would stop feeling queasy at the sight of large amounts of blood, but nope my head was spinning like crazy and I felt sick. I quickly averted my eyes to the mirror. I saw a pale skinned, brown haired girl with deep shadows under pools of brown. Yep, that's me. Isabella Swan, carrying the last name of a murderer. Memories flooded my mind again.

_Grandma standing by the stairs, smiling at me with an envelope in her wrinkled hands, grandma arranging flowers on the kitchen table. Everywhere I turned, grandma was watching me. Her kind face started to wither, her warm eyes changed to empty sockets and she rasped out in a terrible screech "you…killed…me, it's all your fault, your fault your mother is dead, your fault, your fault, ALL YOUR FAULT!" no! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find my voice. This is not real, this is not really happening, leave me alone, no, leave me alone. Please, just go away, GO AWAY! _

Suddenly, grandma vanished and I was left alone shaking and clutching the bathroom counter for support.

My dorm room was spacious and cozy with two twin sized beds pushed against the opposite walls with a bay window dividing the room in the middle. There were two built-in desks and an empty bookshelf on my side of the room. Plush, cream carpet covered the floor. The door to the bathroom was located on the far end beside my roommate's desk. A flat screen TV was in the middle of the room. It already had lots of DVDs around it, all of which were stacked into a neat pile. Another door led to a big walk-in closet. Half of the closet was already full of color-coordinated, designer clothes. Walking back out in to the room, I noticed that the bed closer to the door had lots of suspicious pink stuff on it. Great, my roommate is probably going to try and persuade me to play Barbies or dress up with her. Oh, and judging by the perfect piles of DVDs and arrangement of the closet, she probably has OCD too. Just my luck. And here I imagined that somehow my roommate and I would become BFFs and eat rocky road ice cream on the floor watching Casablanca.

Just then, the door opened and a tiny girl decked out in designer clothes like the ones in the closet came bouncing in. I mean literally, that girl was jumping up and down. She strode over to where I was standing with a big smile and held out her small hand.

"Hi! You must be my roommate! I'm Alice Cullen"

"Bella Swan" I shook her hand, but it felt awkwardly formal. Alice must have also thought so, because she pulled me in to a hug instead.

Alice Cullen was very small, barely five feet tall, with short and spiky jet black hair. She had an elfin face and very dark blue eyes. Her bubbly personality was radiating from her and I couldn't help but love her right away. She was wearing a dark pink shirt and designer jeans, matched with black converse. I looked self consciously down at my worn green sweater and baggy jeans. She obviously grew up in a very different world from my own.

"Wanna go shopping with me and Rosalie today? We need stuff for our dorms. Rose is my older brother Emmett's girlfriend since high school. They're both sophomores" Alice explained.

"Sure'' I found myself saying. I was captured by her optimism and friendliness no one has ever treated me with before. Maybe I could finally have a real friend. That sparked some hope in me and I couldn't help but smile at this person who let me think that maybe I can still be happy someday.

"Great! She should be here any minute! I left her in the hallway because she was saying goodbye to Emmett and I do NOT want to know what they are doing right now" she wrinkled her little nose in disgust and I laughed. She was just so cute. Alice was still prattling on.

"I hope you don't mind me choosing this bed. If you want we can switch? I just thought that since I wouldn't have much use of a bookshelf I might as well leave that side to someone who would actually put books there."

"It's fine, and that bookshelf is going to be full when I'm done unpacking" I said. Alice squealed and jumped on her bed.

"I can feel we are going to be best friends!" I watched with a grin as she bounced up and down on her pillows. It looked so adorable and fun that I couldn't resist and climbed up on my bed, only to start hopping like Alice.

"Alice I brought your last bag. I seriously don't understand why you felt the need to..." a beautiful velvet voice brought me back from my brief moment of happiness to reality. I fell off the bed hitting my head in the process.

"Ow!" I huffed at that voice for interrupting my fun.

"I'm sorry for startling you" a smooth hand reached out to help me up. Once I was on my feet again, I looked up at the source of all the trouble – and my heart missed a beat. Before me stood a live personalization of a Greek God. Dishevelled bronze hair, alabaster skin and flawless lips. Hmm, I wonder how it would feel to run my hands through that gorgeous hair. And those lips look very kissable, I can imagine what they would feel like against my skin… Wait WHAT!? This is really getting out of hand. I'm having fantasies about a man I met about thirty seconds ago. To distract myself, I looked up into his eyes. Uh oh. Bad mistake. My Adonis had the most piercing, deepest, emerald green eyes I've ever seen. I must have stood there and gaped like a moron at him. Maybe I even drooled a little. What's wrong with me? Must be the New York air. It's getting in my head.

"I'm Edward Cullen, Alice's brother" he said politely, looking at me strangely. Probably he was wondering why I was staring at his face like an idiot.

"Bella Swan, Alice's roommate" we shook hands and he smiled at me. My knees turned to jelly and I swayed a little. He had the most beautiful, lopsided smile in the universe. He reached out to steady me.

"Wow, are you ok? You must have hit your head pretty hard" yeah, I'm ok. I'm pretty sure I just freaking died and gone to heaven.

"I'm fine" I mumbled, looking down at my feet. What's wrong with me? I felt my face getting hot. I groaned internally. Fabulous. My idiotic tendency to blush. I'm positive I looked red as a tomato now.

"I'll see you later Alice, Bella" Edward turned and exited the room with another one of those breathtaking grins.

As soon as he left, Alice went back to her bouncing, but I stayed rooted in the spot, still trying to clear my head.

"So what's your major?" Alice asked me after a while of silence, in time with her bouncing.

"Ummm, English. I want to be a writer" I was still distracted and I answered without thinking. I can't believe I just shared my greatest dream with a person I barely know. I expected her to laugh at me, but instead she became even more excited.

"Really? That's so cool! To think that I might be a roommate of a famous writer! I'm majoring in art. I want to be a fashion designer, and if I ever succeed, you can have free clothes!" Alice truly was one of a kind. Anyone else I told either laughed at me or just didn't take me seriously.

Alice jumped once more and then plopped herself on the pillows. She began telling me about her own designs when the door creaked open and a gorgeous blonde head peaked into the room. Alice's face lighted up and she quickly pulled the girl into our room. I assumed this must be the Rosalie Alice was talking about. Sure enough, the little pixie as I subconsciously called Alice squealed and embraced her, yelling,

'Rose! Hi! Oh my gosh, I love your shirt! It looks amazing on you! This is Bella, my new roomie. You don't mind if she comes shopping with us do you?" Alice gestured to me. I felt even more self conscious around Rosalie then I did around Alice. Ali was pretty and charming, but Rosalie's beauty was exquisite. She had a tanned, well-proportioned body with a shapely face, warm hazel eyes and pouty lips.

"No of course not. Hi Bella, I'm Rosalie Hale" she waved at me and I was surprised to see her nails were plain and cut close to the skin. I guess I expected a person like her to have perfectly manicured hands like Alice.

"Hi" I waved back awkwardly and went to retrieve my wallet and purse, tripping over the carpet of course.

We all walked down to the parking lot and over to a red BMW convertible. I stared at it in shock, while Rosalie climbed in the driver's seat.

"Wow" that was the only word that went past my lips before climbing in the backseat. Alice and Rose snickered. Alice turned around from the passenger seat to explain.

"Rosalie loves tinkering with cars. It's her weird hobby. She values this car above her own life. No one has ever driven it apart from her, not even Emmett although he begged her many times. I don't even think he had the honour to sit in the driver's seat yet" Rosalie smirked.

"No, he hasn't, but we did explore the backseat quite well"

Alice laughed while I yelled "Ew! I'm _sitting_ in the backseat!"

Rosalie and Alice laughed even harder. "Yeah, there was this one time when Em was on top of me-"

"Spare the details please!" I cut her off. I _so_ did not need to know that.

The rest of the drive passed in comfortable silence. The mall we arrived at was _huge_. I didn't even know so many stores existed. Alice and Rose studied the layout of the mall for a few minutes in concentrated silence, and after that they knew just where everything was and they dragged me from one store to the next. We got tons of stuff and my feet were killing me but I didn't want to complain. After all, I'd rather have sore feet and walk with friends around the mall instead of sitting alone in a dorm sulking.

We were passing by Macy's when I started to believe that a God existed after all. On the door was a sign that said "Help needed". I walked into the store and fifteen minutes later I walked out employed. That was my first little success in this new place and it made me feel a bit better. I was much lighter on my feet when we finally made our way back to the car through the crowds. I was already sitting in the backseat again when I heard Rosalie fighting with someone.

"YOU ASSHOLE! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CAR!" I looked back and there was Rose in all her glory, red faced yelling at a poor guy who was cowering in front of her. It seemed like he scratched the back of her BMW with his shopping cart by accident. Alice was standing on the side trying to hold in her laughter.

"Calm down woman! It's just a scratch! You could barely even see it!"

"A SCRATCH!? MAYBE IT WOULD BE A SCRATCH ON THAT PIECE OF CRAP YOU'RE DRIVING!" Rosalie looked really menacing in that moment and I made a mental note never to get into a fight with her. She looked as if she wanted to punch that guy in the face. Alice realized it was going too far and she quickly dragged Rosalie away and pushed her into the car. Rosalie stomped on the gas pedal and the car jerked backwards, almost colliding with the man. Me and Alice screamed "Rosalie!" but we were already speeding down the dark road. I didn't even notice when it got so late.

We arrived back at the dorms quarter to nine and I was completely dead on my feet. I threw my stuff on the floor and fell back on the bed groaning. Alice did the same, but she was up in a moment, putting her stuff away. After she was done, she turned to me with the cutest puppy dog eyes.

"Bella? You know you're the sweetest roomie I could have ever asked for? And that you'll be even sweeter if you let me unpack your things?" she wanted to unpack my things and save me from all the trouble? Be my guest!

"Sure Ali, but leave my books alone. I have a special system for those"

"Yay!" Alice threw herself at me and squeezed the air out of me. Immediately she opened up my suitcases, hanging all my clothes according to colour or style or whatever it was she was organizing it by. I watched her for some time, making sure she doesn't touch my books, but after a while my eyes started drooping. It was a long day and I was reaaallly tired. My last thought was that maybe my college life wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.

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**Reviews bring Bella one step closer to happiness...**


	3. AN IMPORTANT

**PLEASE READ! **

**Sorry everyone it's not a chapter, but due to a major case of writer's block, the common cold and exams right around the corner I probably won't be updating till the summer starts. By that time I hope my ideas will be written out on paper and I can promise you EPOV for the next chapter. **

**I have a little part of the next chapter typed out and you have to tell me if you would rather have a little update of about 720 words tomorrow, or a freakishly long whole chapter with both BPOV and EOPVs in three or four weeks. If you have any questions regarding the story feel free to PM me :). Sorry again.**

**~Emilie  
**


	4. Pancake Masters

**I'M BACK!**

**I****know I promised an update earlier but my dad only gave me my laptop back yesterday and I got started on the new chapter right away. Of course what I didn't know was that my interntet is blocked from 8 pm till morning and I couldn't publish it! But it's here, a new update finally! So I'm not gonna ramble on anymore, go ahead and read :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything though I wish I owned Edward**

**ENJOY!  
**

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"Bella! Wake up! Wake up!" first time in months I don't have a nightmare and I get woken up by an over hyper pixie. I wanted to choke her. However my murderous intentions disappeared as soon as I saw her Winnie-the-pooh pyjamas and messy hair. She was just too cute for her own good.

"Come on Bella, get up! We have to get ready for our first day! My mom always says first impressions count the most, so we have to look our best today! I saw this really cute Texan yesterday…" I tuned out her rambling to look at my alarm clock. 6 in the morning. Fabulous. I groaned and dropped back on my pillows hiding under the blankets.

"Alice I don't have classes until 9!"

"I know that Bella I looked over your schedule, but we must get dressed, do our hair, makeup, get stuff together and then we're meeting everyone for breakfast at Pancake Masters **(No, it's not real, but nothing else came to my mind). **I heardthey have great pancakes there" how can she talk so much at this unearthly hour?

"What do you mean by everyone exactly?"

"Rosalie, her boyfriend and my older brother Emmett, and Edward, you met him yesterday" I blushed when I heard Edward's name. He probably thinks I'm mentally disabled with the way I acted yesterday. Alice looked at me curiously for a second, but then shrugged and skipped to the closet. I let out a relieved breath. I was afraid she'll start asking me why am I blushing when she says her hot brother's name.

After lots of displeased noises from Alice, her offending comments about my clothes and my huffs at those comments I finally had an outfit. I wore dark wash skinny jeans and a deep blue long sleeved t-shirt. I took a quick shower, and then pulled on the clothes. The blouse hid my scars nicely so I wouldn't have to wear a sweater. I was currently looking for my black converses, when I saw Alice holding them up with a disgusted face. I reached out to grab them but she didn't let go. I frowned and pulled harder but she was surprisingly strong for someone so tiny. So I sat back on my heels and looked at her questioningly.

"Ali, is something wrong?" I asked confused.

"Bella did you plan on wearing this," she shook my shoes "on the first day of school?"

"Yee…es?" I still didn't understand what was wrong with my shoes.

"I don't think so" she threw my shoes back in the closet and came out with black ballet flats. Not wanting to argue with her, I just slipped them on quickly, yanked a brush through my hair and headed towards the door. I was just about to open it when Alice pulled me back. Really, it was getting annoying. Who did this girl think she was?

"Bella, can I please do your hair and makeup? Please?" my heart melted at the sight of her puppy dog face.

"Ok fine Ali, but hurry up" Alice clapped her hands in glee and pushed me into the bathroom, making me sit in a little pink chair. She must have gotten it yesterday. She proceeded to brush my hair, not being too gentle about it and I winced every time she tugged on it with the brush.

"Your hair so pretty and soft, and you have an awful lot of it **(wish I had hair like Bella, but no my hair is just ridiculously thick and the colour of poop :(****),** you don't need much make up either you look better naturally. Just a little bit of mascara and eyeliner" I let her talk while she curled my hair, not moving for the fear of being burned with the curler. After she was satisfied with my hair, she applied mascara, eyeliner and a little of blue eye shadow. With a hilarious look of concentration Alice coated my lips with lip gloss and pronounced me ready. I now had sleek, shiny curls cascading down my back and very delicate makeup on my face. I actually looked _pretty_.

"Thanks Alice!" I hugged her and she laughed. Alice had her makeup done in less than ten minutes and soon we were walking to the Pancake Masters.

As soon as we entered, Alice led me to a small table near a window. It seemed we were the last ones to arrive with all the time wasted doing our hair and makeup. There was Edward, looking absolutely gorgeous in blue jeans and a designer green t-shirt. Across from him was a big, burly guy that looked like a serious weightlifter with curly, brown hair and cute dimples. Rosalie, statuesque and beautiful at any time of the day sat beside him and held his hand. They looked perfect together.

"Finally, I'm starving!" the big guy exclaimed as soon as he saw us, drawing attention to our table. Rosalie smacked the back of his head. I giggled at that.

"That's my older brother Emmett, he's a sophomore and Rose's boyfriend' Alice told me. The big guy got up from his chair so fast he almost flipped the table over and caught me in a hug.

"You must be Isabella! Alice wouldn't shut up about her new roommate yesterday! Nice to meet you!"

"It's…Bella…nice…to meet…you too, but I…can't…breathe!" I gasped out. He immediately put me down and I stumbled back.

"Sorry Bella" he smiled at me sheepishly. Then I heard Emmett's stomach rumble as did probably everyone else in the restaurant, it sounded like a bear growling.

"Ok, enough of this introductory crap, let's eat!" his booming voice carried across the restaurant and everyone were now staring at this scene. Emmett oblivious to everything but food walked back to his seat and picked up a menu. Alice sat down beside him, which left the only available seat beside…Edward. Blushing furiously and tripping over the thin air I attempted to sit gracefully, but as me and gracefulness don't cooperate, my leg got caught on the chair leg and I landed on…Edward's lap.

"Hello again Bella" Edward smiled his breathtaking crooked smile at me and I blushed even deeper if that's possible.

"Hi" I squeaked out. Jesus, so humiliating. I quickly got up and sat in my own chair, noticing everyone apart from Edward, who seemed dazed, were in hysterics. Alice gave me a smug smile and I glared at her. Damn pixie. Fortunately the waiter came to our table to take our orders, breaking the awkward moment between Edward and me. I couldn't even remember what I ordered. The only thing I was aware of, was how close Edward's body was to my own. Our arms were almost touching and I found myself wishing that he would scoot his chair closer to me. _Snap out of it Bella! He doesn't even like you._

_You can't know that._

_Nobody wants a girl with a messed up past and no future._

_That's true, but…_

_No buts get over your misplaced crush before it gets worse._

_I don't know if I can._

_Yes you can. You have to._

_No I don't._

_Yes, you do._

_No I_-

"Bella?" a velvet voice interrupted my internal battle. I looked into his concerned eyes.

"Huh?" was my brilliant reply.

"Are you alright? You seemed distant."

"I'm fine. Daydreaming I guess" I smiled at him and he smiled back, stealing my breath for a moment.

"Wanna play 20 questions?" he asked out of the blue, startling me again.

"20 questions? Really?"

"Yeah why not?"

"Umm, sure okay"

"Great, I'll go first. Favourite colour?"

"Green. Yours?"

"Blue. Favourite band?"

"Red jumpsuit apparatus"

"Really? Mine too. I also like Muse and Skillet." I don't think he can get any more perfect than this.

"I like them too! Especially "The last night" by Skillet **(lmao, Ash ;))**. Okay I think it's my turn. What do you do for fun?"

"I play the piano, listen to music and hang out with friends" and I thought he couldn't get more perfect.

"Really? You don't take your girlfriend for romantic walks in the park? You seem the type who would do that" it was impossible that this man could be single. Not that I cared anyways.

"I would if I had one" he answered with another dazzling smile. Holy crap he was free! I wanted to do a happy dance. No, no, wait. I don't care _at all _whether he's free or not. Well, I shouldn't. I looked around the table. No one was paying attention to us. Alice and Rosalie were talking about fashions and God knows what else and Emmett was too busy making goo-goo eyes at Rose to pay attention to our surroundings. I bit into my blueberry pancakes I didn't even remember ordering and Edward started on his in silence.

"Ok, I think it's my turn. Are you single?"

I almost choked on my pancakes. This Greek God was asking _me_ if I'm single!? Why would he care anyways? He could probably have any girl he wanted. Oh, wait I still didn't answer the question.

"Umm, yes I am single. Was there a reason you asked?" smooth Bella, smooth. Edward looked down at his food.

"Just curious" right. Of course he wouldn't want me. I wasn't interesting or attractive. And he was. Attractive and interesting and mysterious, gorgeous, rich, smart, intelligent, gorgeous, talented, amazing oh and did I mention unbelievably gorgeous?

Twenty minutes later, the awkward breakfast was over and I sighed in relief when I went outside with Alice. Since she had no classes till 12 she wanted to go back to the dorm and organize her stuff. I had no idea what she meant by that because her things were already perfectly organized and unpacked. However if I didn't hurry up I'll be late for my classes so after a hurried exchange of words with Alice I started walking in the direction of the campus. So wrapped up in my thoughts I barely noticed when a silver Volvo skidded to a stop in front of me and Edward's head poked out the window.

"Need a ride?"

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**REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT, MOTIVATES ME TO WRITE FASTER :)**


	5. Clubbing

**Hello everyone! No, I haven't abandoned either of my stories, I just needed a break from everything. But now I am back and writing again, so there won't be such a gap between chapters anymore, I promise.  
I also have a profile on so you can check that out. Just search for Emilie DeVere.  
Without further delay, here is the next chapter. As usual all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with them.**

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﻿_Previously...  
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_So wrapped up in my thoughts, I barely noticed when a silver Volvo skidded to a stop in front of me and Edward's head poked out the window._

_"Need a ride?"_

All my classes were pretty boring as the professors were only going over the syllabus and more than once I caught myself thinking of edward's emerald eyes or the way his hair looked like in the sun. This shouldn't be happening. I taught myself long ago not to let anyone come close to me. I built walls up around me because every time I became fond of someone it ended in them and me getting hurt. So why should my well guarded defences start crumbling down every time that man looked at me?

After chewing the crap out of my pencil I decided the smartest thing to do was to avoid the Cullens and their charming friends. Of course I would still see Alice since we are roommates, but I'll take care not to see her outside of the dorm. Could I really do this? The first time in my life when someone accepted me for who I am and I'm going to throw this way? Yes, yes I could. I can't live through the pain of losing someone dear to me again.

Happy, ok not happy but a lot calmer about my solution I sat back and desperately tried to block Edward out of my mind, which was proving to be utterly impossible.

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Naturally my brilliant plan collapsed in ruins when Alice used her puppy dog eyes on me, something Edward told me she was famous for. So of course I gave in making Alice jump up and down with glee looking like she was high. At once she went for her make up bag and proceeded to make me "slammin' hot" as she put it. I sighed knowing it was impossible and let her work.

One hour later she spread my cherry lip gloss over my lips with a flourish and announced me finished. She stuck the mirror in my hands and I looked to see my reflection. My hair was done up in a French plait on the side and tied with a lavender coloured ribbon. My make up was very light focusing on my big poopie eyes; only mascara, eyeliner and a touch of eye shadow. It was simple yet classy, just how I liked it.

"Thanks Alice, it actually looks pretty good!"

Alice pretended to look offended. "Were you doubting my skills, Bella?" Alice started tickling me.

"never Alice…hahaha, please hahaha…stop!" I was gasping for breath but Alice's little fingers didn't stop.

"Say "I will never again doubt the power of the mighty Alice"

"Nuh uh" I managed to gasp out. Alice just grinned devilishly and stopped tickling me. She ran over to my closet and pulled out my favourite green hoodie. Then she plucked the scissors off my desk and tried to cut the sleeves off. A strangled cry escaped my lips.

"No Alice not the hoodie!" it was the only thing I had after my mother. Surely she wouldn't cut it up…

"Say it"

"No"

"Fine" the scissors moved dangerously close to my beloved sweater.

"Ok, ok! I will never again doubt the power of the mighty Alice!" I sighed in relief when she lowered the scissors and threw my hoodie on the bed. I quickly ran over to it and hugged it to my chest.

"Gee Bella, who knew you can get so emotional over an old hoodie. An ugly one at that" Alice laughed, not understanding.

"It's the only thing I have left of my mother" I said quietly, wiping at the tears that have formed with the sleeve. Alice's laugh died on her lips and her expression turned to horror.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry! I didn't know! The hoodie isn't that bad, I mean it's a pretty colour and-" she tackled me and gave me a fierce hug.

"It's ok Ali, you didn't know" tears were pouring down my face now and I tried to disentangle myself from Alice but she wouldn't let me go. For someone so tiny she had way too much strength. We sat like that for a few minutes until we stopped crying. Alice wiped her tears and screeched when she saw the black marks from mascara on her fingers.

"Don't move! You're the same. Don't worry fashion ambulance is on its way!" with that she sped off to find her bag and frantically started reapplying her make up, leaving me laughing on my bed.

"Your turn!" Alice was back to her normal, bouncy self and chattered about some hot guy she met this morning as she fixed my eyes.

"Oh my goodness, his eyes were sooo blue! He was such a gentleman and had the loveliest southern accent I've ever heard. He's from Texas and doesn't know anyone so I went and talked with him."

"More like talked him to death" I muttered under my breath, too quietly for her to hear. Louder I asked,

"What's his name?" Alice stopped applying mascara to my eyes and stared at me.

"Oh! I knew there was something I forgot to ask him!" She slapped her forehead.

"You _forgot_ to ask his _name_?" I asked incredulously.

"Well yeah, I was distracted by his hotness" Alice responded. I rolled my eyes. Only Alice would find out someone's life story without asking their name.

While Alice went to hunt for something appropriate to wear from her mountains of clothing I tried to pick out my own outfit but was coming up empty. I had absolutely nothing that was proper for clubbing. I finally gave up with a huff and sat back down on the bed, glaring at the fly that sat on my hand.

"What did that poor fly do to you?" Alice's tinkling voice made me jump and topple off the bed. Of course.

"I have nothing to weeaar" I whined like a five year old. Alice just laughed at me and retrieved a white garment bag from the closet. Holding it up for me to see, she slowly unzipped it and took the dress out.

It was strapless, the same colour as my ribbon, and ended just above my knee. It had a sweet heart neckline and little diamonds scattered all over it. Even though I normally would never wear something like this, I had to admit it did hug all of my curves nicely and I felt confident in it. Beautiful even.

"Thank you Alice. But when did you get the dress for me?" It must have cost a lot.

"Oh I just had it laying around in my closet" she mumbled not looking at me.

I snorted, "Sure, cause it's perfectly normal to have dresses that will never fit just laying around in your closet"

Alice blushed but didn't say anything and continued getting dressed. I thought _my_ dress was too revealing. Alice's shocking pink number barely covered her butt. Since the dress was strapless, I put on a little black cardigan to cover up my scars. Alice raised one perfect eyebrow at me.

"It's pretty warm this evening and I'm sure its going to be really hot in the club" she pointed out. I mumbled out some lame excuse about liking to be prepared while looking at my shoes. I'm a shitty liar.

After we were all dressed and ready, I in 4 inch stilettos which I'm sure are going to be very helpful in breaking my legs, Alice literally dragged me like a rag doll to her obnoxious yellow Porsche. She drove way over the speed limit and I was scared she'd turn us into a Porsche pretzel around a tree. Alice laughed at me when I said that.

* * *

Finally we arrived at a club called _Twilight_ **(couldn't resist ;))**. The bouncer didn't even give us a second glance once Alice gave him the signature Cullen smile and waved us in. the music was so loud I was sure my eardrums were gonna pop any second. Alice pulled me over to a far corner were the rest of the group were seated. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie smiled and greeted me, but Edward's expression froze on his face as soon as he saw me and I saw something flash through his eyes. Anger maybe? I wracked my brain for something I could have done to anger him so much. He was fine this morning. Did I say something during the car ride? Parts of my brain seemed to shut down as soon as Edward came within two metres of me, so it was very possible. Did I look that bad? Feeling very self conscious, I perched on the edge of a seat beside Rosalie. Emmett disappeared to get a drink, even though he was still technically underage.

Alice dragged me onto the dance floor and after a few of some fruity drinks Emmett gave me, my horrible dancing skills have improved and we had a blast. Unfortunately my balance was still askew and I landed on my butt, taking someone else with me and knocking his drink out of his hand and spilling it all over my legs. I couldn't find Alice in the crowd, so I proceeded to look for a bathroom by myself.

After a bruised hip, sticky legs and a few blistered toes, I was ready to call it a night. Coming out of the bathroom I was fishing in my purse for a cell phone to call a cab and naturally bumped into someone.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I'm going" I muttered looking up and staring right into Edward's furious emerald orbs.

"Where did you get that dress?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Umm, Alice gave it to me" what was wrong with the dress? Is that the reason for his crappy mood?

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in frustration.

"Alice. I should have figured" with that he stalked off, no doubt to find Alice. Confused as hell, I went back to our table to tell Alice and Rose that I'm leaving when I saw Edward and Alice arguing in whispers. I was about to walk past them when I heard my name in their heated conversation. So instead I moved closer so I could hear.

"Let it go Edward, it's been two years! You have to face the past sooner or later." Alice whisper-yelled.

"I'd rather face it later" Edward interrupted her, which made Alice looking as if she longed to slap him.

"I know you loved her but it's time to move on and...start living again. We all loved her, but we know that she would have wanted us to go on."

"None of you were as close as i was with her! None of you understood her like i did! Prom was something she dreamed of ever since she came to high school! And you gave her prom dress to some bimbo you met yesterday that looks like a washed out plum in it!" the few second silence during which they glared at each other furiously was broken by a resounding _crack! _Alice punched Edward in the nose.

"FUCK! ALICE YOU BROKE MY NOSE!" Edward screamed clutching his nose.

"Stop being so melodramatic. I didn't punch you nearly hard enough. Next time you insult any of my friends, I _will_ break your nose along with your dick!" Alice stomped off in the direction of the bathrooms. I slid down the wall with tears pouring down my face, taking eyeliner and mascara with them.

Forget the cab. I just wanted to get out of here. Taking off my heels and fighting back the stupid tears that threatened to spill again, I ran out of the club and started walking along the curb. I didn't even know if I was going in the right direction. My watch said it was close to midnight and the shadows lurking at every corner made me nervous. I would have given anything at this point to be in my bed, cuddling my stuffed bunny with my mother beside me telling me everything was going to be ok. But neither my bunny nor my mother were here to comfort me and nothing could stop the tears from spilling over this time. I continued walking, stumbling every few steps because tears blurred my vision.

After walking around New York pointlessly for a few hours, my legs finally gave out under me and I fell down in an alley. I think I was in some park. Having no more strength to fight off the memories, I succumbed to the darkness.

"_A little boy was running across the street, looking over his shoulder. "Kenneth! Kenneth no! Don't, come back! Kenneth please, I'm sorry!" he didn't hear, continued running. His thin face was contorted in anger. A flash of red. The car was moving too fast. "Watch out there is a car behind you!" it was too close. Too close to the boy running recklessly across the street. There was a thump, as the little body was flung backwards like a rag doll. "KENNETH NO!" the scream echoed as the car zoomed past, crushing the life out of the tiny, broken body."_

* * *

"Bella?, Bella can you hear me?" someone was shaking me. I woke from my blood chilling nightmare, trembling and gasping for breath, staring into the emerald eyes of a sweaty and incredibly sexy Edward Cullen.

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